The River of Life (And why we rewiggle) - A Course in Shame Healing
- 12 minutes ago
- 3 min read
A framework for understanding shame as part of an ecosystem, and what becomes possible when we begin to restore it.
The path to helping others heal from shame is multifaceted.
It bumps up against our own shame, if you’ve ever thought I’m not doing enough here, that may well be your own shame entering the room. It intertwines with both intergenerational and systemic shame. And it brings with it early patterns from childhood.
So to some degree, we can think of shame as operating within an ecosystem. Not as an individual failing, not as a personal flaw but as something shaped by the whole web of experience, relationship, and systems we have moved through.
I want to share one part of a framework I’ve been developing and teaching for some time now. A piece of alchemy, if that word feels right, for understanding how shame operates, and how we begin to work our way free of it.
The River of Life
Think of us coming into the world as an organic river. Meeting other rivers and streams, forming an interconnected, flowing body of life. This body of life is connected to the fish, the land, all other forms of life. It is naturally wiggly. Naturally alive.
For centuries, actual rivers around the world have been deliberately straightened. A process known as channelisation or canalisation. This modification transforms winding, natural rivers into fast-flowing, uniform, and often lifeless straight channels.
Why have rivers been straightened?
Agriculture and development: Straightening allows for the draining of wetlands and floodplains, creating more dry land for farming and construction.
Flood management: It was believed that forcing water into a straight line would move it faster and reduce flooding.
Navigation: Straightening removes bends, making it easier for boats to travel.
In reality, as with most man-made efforts to control the land, it hasn’t worked well. Biodiversity has been devastated. It has actually caused more flooding, not less. And so much more has been lost.
And this is very similar to how shame behaves.
We’ve been straightened. Asked to be more palatable, easier to navigate, to become straighter in all ways. And the shame that lives within us takes us off course from our life force energy, from our organic, flowing, wiggly nature.
So We Rewiggle
There is a particular form of rewilding being introduced to support rivers to find themselves again. Here in the UK, in Poland, and beyond, it is called rewiggling.
Which made me giggle the first time I heard it. Because it is a funny kind of word.
Essentially, it is the process of making more natural, wiggly routes to interrupt and restore rivers to their more organic, curvy, living selves.
Because like the rivers, we are naturally a bit odd, a bit queer, a bit unique, and a bit wiggly, in so many glorious ways.
In the case of the rivers, the new wiggly bit is built in parallel to the straight flow, to encourage an interruption, and to coax the river back toward its natural course.
So in practice, when we work with shame, we are looking for ways to interrupt that straightened route. To notice, encourage, and help build back those wiggly bits. That might look like:
Noticing the wiggly bits’ emergence.
Unshaming the impulse to be wiggly.
Role modelling being wiggly.
Or a myriad of other ways I am yet to name.
This is part of the framework I am so looking forward to teaching, sharing, and exploring together. As I write this, I feel the expansiveness of being with you, as we explore this ecosystem more together.
Let’s rewild together. Meet you at the river?
The River Rewilded: Online, On-Demand Course in Shame Healing is Live
This course brings together the most effective, most embodied tools I have for illuminating and healing from shame - somatically, honestly, and without the need for endless talking about it.
If this framework has stirred something in you, the course is where we go deeper. Into the neurobiology, the nervous system, how shame shows up in behaviour and emotion, and the somatic practices that begin to restore your organic, wiggly nature.
→ You can find the full course details and join here.
There is a tiered pricing structure: solidarity, standard, and supporter rates, so that this work is as accessible as possible. Everyone who joins receives the same course, the same care, and the same welcome.
So why the name, why The River Rewilded? Embracing shame has honeslty been one of the greatest teachers of my life, both personally and professionally and I am constantly finding new non pathologised ways to speak about it. The name draws on a passion for deep ecology, take a moment dear one to listen to this analogy of shame with rivers as our teacher:
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